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    The Goal Is To Survive

    Chapter 38


    Chapter 38: Memories of the summer

    Translated by SkyTL
    Edited by SkyTL


     

    Chapter 38: Memories of the summer

     

    Faritina chisels away the stone.

     

    The only sound in the empty room is the shuffling of the stone.

     

    This stone was given to her as a prisoner.

     

    ‘This is not very nice.’ Faritina thought as she moved her hand.

     

    The silence continues.

     

    And yet I am condemned and punished at will.

     

    Do they hate me that much?

     

    My sad situation is similar to Gemini’s.

     

    He was born only to be born.

     

    I didn’t need a dukedom.

     

    I didn’t need to be betrothed to a prince.

     

    I just wanted to be loved because I was in a position to believe that I could be loved.

     

    It is greed that wants what it cannot have… Was Gemini greedy too? Is that why he is being punished in that way?

     

    Faritina wanted to meet Gemini.

     

    She wanted to embrace a being who lived only to be small, only to grow.

     

    I beg you. Do not suffer.

     

    I want you to smile without knowing anything.

     

    I don’t want you to regret being born one day.

     

    Just like me.

     

    ××××××××××

     

    When Gideon visited Faritina’s room, Faritina was still grinding on the stone.

     

    That day, Gideon brought her a bouquet of flowers.

     

    “Yesterday we had a summer party at school.”

     

    The bouquet was one of the decorations.

     

    At the end of the festival, people can take it home as a souvenir while cleaning up.

     

    The beautiful bouquets of flowers from the gardens of the castle were very popular with the ladies every year.

     

    “Well …”

     

    Faritina happily accepted the bouquet.

     

    “So it’s that time again…”

     

    In midsummer, after the banquet, the students of the school all go on a short vacation. After a short vacation, they come back to school.

     

    Faritina has been in the West Wing for a month now.

     

    The stone tower is cool when the wind blows through, but the windows of Faritina’s room cannot be opened without permission.

     

    Nevertheless, Faritina still looks cool.

     

    Even after he rescued her from Avenald Prison, she didn’t cry or scream, but spent her time calmly, as if she deserved to be here.

     

    How can you be like that?

     

    Gideon turned to Faritina, his heart cracking.

     

    “Last year you were back at the manor.”

     

    Faritina had been absent last year, too. She hadn’t been seen at the academy since the end of the vacations because she said she had things to do at the estate.

     

    At that time, people around Gideon said Faritina was upset because she was not included in the executive committee.

     

    Since Faritina was absent, Gideon accompanied Amanda to the fast dance, as he had done that year.

     

    It must have been around this time.

     

    That’s when the rumors of Gideon and Amanda’s romantic relationship began.

     

    “Why didn’t you come last year?”

     

    Would that have happened if Faritina had been there then?

     

    Since then, Faritina’s reputation has gone downhill, and Amanda has been harassed in several ways.

     

    Once, the documents she had worked so hard on to complete the policy report were thrown away; another time, her shoes and purse were deliberately hidden.

     

    In one case, the Committee joined in the search.

     

    They spent more and more time together, comforting Amanda in her anxiety.

     

    It wasn’t just him, but the entire members of the Committee.

     

    As he began to protect Amanda from her tormentors, a bond formed, and the sense of solidarity was comforting.

     

    Faritina did not answer Gideon’s question. She just stared at the beautiful bellflower.

     

    “…Do you like your dukedome?”

     

    Gideon decided to change his question.

     

    Faritina smiled a little and nodded.

     

    “When I was a child, my family went there every summer.”

     

    Pleased that she had returned the question, Gideon inquired with his eyes.

     

    “After my twin siblings were born, we didn’t go as often, but I miss it because it was a rare day when the family was together.”

     

    “It’s a beautiful place, isn’t it?”

     

    “Yes, it is. Because of the mountains, it’s a place of great natural beauty and coziness.”

     

    “Yes. I would like to go there sometime.”

     

    When Gideon said this, Faritina pulled up the corners of her mouth into a strange smile.

     

    Gideon’s heart skipped a beat.

     

    Faritina had not yet come to know that her engagement had been broken.

     

    There was no one here who could have given her that information.

     

    Why was she smiling so sadly?

     

    It is as if she knows that Gideon will never visit the land of Granquiece.

     

    “Granquiece is not far from the capital, so my father could only stay for a short time.”

     

    The late Duke held important political offices. He had even served as prime minister. He died before young Gideon could meet him. He was a white, handsome man, much like Serion.

     

    He never laughed much, and his remarks were short and to the point, unpretentious and a little scary for a child.

     

    “I remember my father spending more time in the carriage than on the estate.”

     

    The trip to Granquiece took three days by carriage. The round trip takes about a week.

     

    A duke who was at the center of politics could not have left the capital for long.

     

    “Still, your father would have wanted to go with his family.”

     

    Faritina smiled vaguely in response.

     

    “He must have felt it necessary to show Serion his lands. He is his heir.”

     

    “I’m sure he wanted you to see it, too.”

     

    Gideon couldn’t help but say in a sad tone.

     

    “…At the estate, Serion and his other brother were given a pony. For hunting training. I wanted one too, but he wouldn’t give it to me.”

     

    “I’m surprised at that. You’re a little tomboy, aren’t you?”

     

    Faritina is the picture of a highborn girl. She never carries her own horse or even an umbrella. Nor does she need to, for she is always surrounded by servants.

     

    “Yes. That’s what my father told me. He doesn’t talk much, and I was a bit of a tomboy. When I found out I wasn’t going to get a pony, I sulked. I ran away from home.”

     

    “Ran away?!”

     

    “Into the stables of the house. I hid secretly without telling anyone.”

     

    “That’s… Your father must have panicked. It must have been hard for everyone to find you.”

     

    “But I fell asleep. The next thing I knew, I was in my room. My father didn’t say a word to me after that.”

     

    The nurses complained, but neither my father nor my mother said a word. I guess my mother was busy taking care of the newborn twins, but I don’t know what my father was thinking.

     

    First of all, I was not a child who got many words from my father or mother.

     

    “I didn’t get a pony, but I did get to ride my father’s horse when we went hunting.”

     

    Gideon laughed at Faritina’s somewhat triumphant remark.

     

    “Your father must have been worried about you. He thought a girl shouldn’t ride a horse. Did you like it so much that you wanted to ride it yourself?”

     

    Faritina tilted her head, languid as ever.

     

    “Now that I think about it, I guess I didn’t want to be left behind.”

     

    Gideon’s heart pounded at her answer.

     

    She couldn’t help but feel lonely.

     

    She was aloof and always kept a straight face.

     

    Both in the academy and in this room.

     

    Surrounded by people, Serion seemed a bit shy and distant.

     

    Not that she wasn’t sad about it.

     

    He wondered if people would have come to her if she had been a little more casual.

     

    Would people have talked to her if she had been smarter?

     

    Should he have pushed something ever more idealistic on her and turned her away when she didn’t respond as expected?

     

    Faritina’s kindness is hard to understand. It is not a kindness that is easy for anyone to recognize.

     

    She is loud and cheerful and does not show her kindness in a way that is easy to understand.

     

    But she stands up with conviction for something that needs to be protected.

     

    Those who are protected by her back will trust her.

     

    Gideon knows she is not silent because of him.

     

    He told Serion to live and hide behind the shield of the academy.

     

    To protect Serion, to protect something that protects her, Faritina dares to accept her bad reputation with conviction.

     

    It was he who should have protected her.

     

    “Our engagement was canceled.”

     

    Gideon said.

     


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