Translated by Translated by Bunny
Edited by Edited by Bunny
Before you read, prepare some tissues T_T
Lisana looked at Louismond with sad eyes as she looked at him standing behind Rubiana.
‘Just a little, wait for me just a little. I will definitely save you from those two perverted Dukes.’
She now has a reason to actively help her father with what he wants to do. Lisana was intoxicated with the sadness she felt after losing Louismond to that cruel and greedy Duke, and so she turned around like a tragic heroine. Her wrinkled dress that has grasses on its hem, swayed with the wind. And so, Lisana completely disappeared.
Rubiana immediately grabbed her cloak and slapped Louismond’s hand clinging on her.
“Well then, I’ll get going.”
She has no particular desire to do anything with Louismond. She saved him just because of his desperate eyes that looked into her and she also took a close look at his handsome face. Now, everything’s over. She now had to quickly go to Callena to tell her what happened today and ask her if she was just watching everything happen because of what plan.
Rubiana turned around without looking at Louismond.
Louismond blinked his eyes blankly.
‘Why aren’t you touching me? You’re just going?’
It was his first time to see a woman standing right in front of him and just turning around just like that. The problem was that the first woman who did that to him was the Duke Ashillean..
Louismond snapped and grabbed Rubiana’s arm.
Rubiana turned halfway to look at Louismond. Her face was very pure as she only asked him, ‘Why are you holding me?’ Louismond was perplexed, so he ended up doing something he wouldn’t do as someone who had just debuted in high society.
“P-please marry me.”
“Let go of – what?”
“No, let’s get married. Do it with me, do that marriage with me!”
He suddenly told her to marry him when she had only seen him twice and never had danced together before.
‘Then what else can I do? I need to cling to this woman in order to survive this life! I don’t want to die again, I don’t want to die this time again!’
Louismond screamed inwardly.
- Louismond’s life repeating in an endless circle
Louismond has very little memory of his mother. He would be more at ease if there was nothing at all. A single memory pulled him down from his ankle, making people uncomfortable.
[‘Sweetie, your name is Louismond Fen Lux Amel Ainnus. Fen, Lux and Amel – all three of these mean ‘the sun’. You are the child of the sun, blessed by God. May the blessings of God who protect this country be with you.’]
A sweet voice drenched with tears, the feel of her lips touching his forehead, the feeling of her soft hair tickling around his eyes – all of that were vivid. He couldn’t even remember his mother’s face.
His mother died when he was only two years old, so it was probably around that time or earlier – her trembling voice, the sweet smell on the tip of his nose, and the feel of her hair tickling his face. Do I remember all of that just because I couldn’t remember her face?
‘Because it wasn’t real?’
Louismond wondered if that single memory was perhaps his illusion or distortion of a child who couldn’t accept his mother’s death.
He had his coming-of-age ceremony at 18, and he didn’t have such a question after he turned 20. He didn’t know if it was a real or distorted memory, but if his mother told him that, Louismond at least wanted to ask her a little later.
First, why was it ‘Von Graham’ that comes after your child’s first name instead of ‘Il Ainnus’. Second, the reason that his last three of his four names all mean ‘sun’ is because his father didn’t value him, but even bothered to name him. No matter how much he asked his mother in front of her grave, she wouldn’t hear him.
“If these d**n memories were real, then you must’ve loved me as much you could, right? But mother, if you really loved me….” Louismond swept on the tombstone, muttering as usual, “You shouldn’t have given birth to me.”
One day at the age of twenty. It wasn’t a day different than usual, when a servant died from a poison needle from a birthday present the Imperial Palace sent.
* * *
His mother Anishia was the youngest daughter of Count Graham. She was the famous daughter of a family with three consecutive sons. It was said that… she grew up receiving a lot of love from her parents and older brothers, but she didn’t show any stubbornness and pride unique to children like her.
The credibility of those words must be high because he had heard it from other blood relatives of Count Graham and the maids who have been working at the Count’s mansion for a long time. That was because the faces of the servants and maids while talking about Anishia were always full of regrets.
[‘Oh, God. I believe that our Young Lady is with you.’]
The maids would always pray for her well-being with her name before talking about Anishia. Being loved even at her death, Anishia was loved by the highest person sitting in the highest position among the people she met while she was alive. Though it was questionable whether it can be called ‘love’, but anyway.
The King that was ruling the Aden Kingdom was called a tyrant even though he was also a descendant of the Ainnus Royal Family who was blessed by Gods. The tyrant had a knack not only for brutally killing people, but also for discovering beautiful women. Count Graham barely dealt with the tyrant using flattery. Their family became a fattened pig after sucking up to the King.
(T/N: The phrase ‘fattened pig’ means that Count Graham’s family became rich and powerful because they suck up to the King using flattery. )
Only after becoming an adult, the pretty Anishia caught the tyrant’s eyes. The tyrant got drunk and took her. Anishia was too terrified to refuse, so she had to endure a terrible night. The tyrant was wild, unruly and sadistic in nature. When he saw something weak, he had no intention of letting go of it. Anishia’s delicate and innocent appearance further ignited his sadistic nature. He dragged her to his bedroom, and Anishia was unable to get out of that room for three consecutive days.
Belatedly hearing of that news, Count Graham and his three sons rushed to the Imperial Palace, and was only able to see Anishia’s face three days later coming out of the King’s bedroom alone. Count Graham and his three sons doted on his only daughter and their only sister Anishia, buying anything she wanted and even the four strict men would pause their job just for her. They were even willing to throw away their gloves for Anishia’s honor. What should have they thought of after seeing Anishia coming out of the King’s bedroom? What behavior should they have shown her?
It was a question without an answer, but they shouldn’t have at least pushed the poor woman back to the King’s bedroom. The same Count Graham and his three sons who doted on Anishia so much, saw that the King’s taking her innocence as an opportunity – an opportunity to get closer to power, a chance that the next great King would have Count Graham’s blood flowing in him.
The mother of the poor Anishia turned a blind eye from her husband and sons who tried to use her daughter as a tool to gain power. She didn’t curse them nor scold them, but turned a blind eye. It was an affirmation of her silence.
[‘Our family has no other choice when I think about the future of our sons… and Anishia too. Everybody already recognized that kid that she has become the King’s wife, but if she was to become the King’s woman even if she doesn’t become the Queen, we can still be associated with a good family.’]
The family pushed Anishia back into the king’s bedroom. The King already had a Queen and had several sons and daughters with her.
The First Prince grew up to be the instant and righteous heir to the throne. Although he was lying flat on his face while avoiding his father’s ferocious eyes, his heart was full of resentment and anger towards his father. The loyalists were only waiting for the First Prince to become the King. On the other hand, Count Graham and his three sons were confident that they would be able to slander and get rid of as many as they can of the King and Queen’s children, if Anishia was continuously favored by the King.
To that extent, the tyrant was unpredictable and ruthless. Knowing well the end of those other women dragged into the King’s bedroom, and how often and easily the King changed his mistress over the years – still, Count Graham had false hopes.
[‘Her body was tainted after all. Having received the King’s favor, this is the way for Anishia to learn about governing and become the Queen.’
‘That’s right, Father. This is all for Anishia.’
‘Anishia will recognize our hard work later.’
‘I hope Anishia can hold on to His Majesty’s heart for a long time.’]
Their cowardly and cruel words became sharp arrows that pierced Anishia’s heart. It was because they were afraid of the King. The truth was that they also didn’t want to let her go, but they had no choice but to send her to the King. She had to protect herself so in the end her family wouldn’t be sad and desperate. That’s why for her family, she had to endure those hellish days all by herself.
Thinking so, Anishia experienced greater despair than she had felt on the first day of being dragged into the king’s bedroom.
[‘I am not dirty. I am not defiled!’]
Anishia screamed, but her father and brothers only covered their ears. When her love for her family shattered, the only power keeping her alive, she lost her will to live. She became a living doll.
She didn’t rebel nor cry even though her very own family pushed her back to the King’s bedroom or the tyrant forced her to do anything. The King quickly lost interest in such an Anishia. He threw her out with her thin undergarments instead of making her his mistress or the Queen.
The tyrant wandered through the royal banquets in search of the next victim. Anishia was dragged through the back door of the Imperial Palace and shivered with her bare foot until she managed to get a carriage and return to the Count Graham’s mansion. Anishia was ill for two months after returning to the Count.
After barely opening her eyes, her family surrounding the bed was shouting of joy instead of despair, and cheers instead of screams.
“Child, you have a child. Anishia, you have the child of the King!”
Anishia fainted again as soon as she heard the words of Count Graham.
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